Investment

First there is a physical investment of time and labor. You are rushed into a classroom with 25 animated crianças on a caffeine buzz. You know nothing about how to discipline or teach children but for the fact you have three siblings yourself. But your mom always told you to let her discipline. The language barrier makes it difficult to keep eveything in order-the kids are using a bad word you never heard of, glancing at you to see if their gonna get in trouble and then rejoicing at the fact their statement went over your head. All you can say is dont fight and sit down.

A month goes by and you are teaching them manners. They are no longer a multitude of tiny malnourished hands fighting for a cup of water and spilling it over in the process. You learn their names and they remember yours. You dont sucede the water unless they say ´Quero agua por favor. Obrigado, tia Nicoli´ They are learning and so are you. They hate the time apart from you and so do you, but theyre still little crazy monkeys throwing rocks and singing when the rain comes.

Then you start to understand what the adults are saying-in their tears, their desperate appreciation of your presence, you understand that finances are a downward spiral and this was a bad month. You didnt know this before. Maybe you feel tricked into heartbreak-the first few days they fed the kids a balanced meal with meat and rice and beans and salad and fruit and juice. Even a desert. It felt good then, you drank as much coffee as you wanted. Now you are sitting in meetings and understanding more than you would like about how much work and support it takes to support a nonprofit organization. It indeed takes a village. You think of how many times it was just you with forty kids, and that in 2 months they wont have you. I cant look at Cadec like a mismanaged bank account or a failed project. Instead I think of Geisanne, the support staff with two adorable kids and a smile like sunshine. From day one you didnt understand what she was talking about but you knew she already loved you. Dalva, the mother of the kitchen-the cook who, just when you thought she was more reserved than the rest, buys you a pair of earrings and offers you into her home. And God, when she does smile...(You later find shes suffering of a disease you havent looked up in the dictionary yet) Stefani, the pretty little girl with braids and a round face the complexion of coffee with the brightest teeth-you try to teach her to say strawberry and end up lauging about it for an hour with her cuz her pronunciation is adorable. Even bad boy Samuel sits on your lap before the rest of the kids arrive and he has to be bad again.

Today was a dark cloud my heart wanted to disappear-the director of the group that oversees Cadec and we talked of expansion. In my heart I wanted him to have brought a thing of juice and some chicken. Cadec houses a cloth making facility with over 15 machines, yet only one woman works in there. I see the potential here of making more money. This woman is talented and has quite a few clothes to offer. Maybe you can find someone else to work here, Nicole? Cadec gets a portions so every new warm body is a help. Maybe you can find some people whod be interested in buying? Geisanne was browsing and said this shirt was as bright as I am-I saw it and decided i would buy it-only about 12 bucks of value. But it is my first investment. Made with love and belief that things can get better. They were all so surprised and excited at how much I loved it and how quickly I bought it.

Cadec will be more than an investment of time for you. You could always sit around for four hours and write up a journal of the meaning of service. But when I think of this place, I think of myself-so much potential for good. It means so well. The hard part is not coming here every day, taking the 30 minute commute back and forth, caring for somebody elses babies and helping strangers clean, cook and administer.The hard part is when you love them.